lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
