would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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