Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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