My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
