walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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