ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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