Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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