There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
