shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
