you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
