My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
