..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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