Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We are two peas in an std pod
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
