I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
