Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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