I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
