There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
