just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
