I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Randomize
