would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
