i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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