Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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