I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
