Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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