Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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