break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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