I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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