Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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