What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
