I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
