Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
