WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
