Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
