Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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