it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
