There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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