i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
