Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
