didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
