Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
even my farts smell like vagina
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
