So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
