True but thats because hes a fetus.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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