is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
