I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize