His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize