her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
