She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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