he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize