ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
