They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
