ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
