remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
