If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
