she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
