I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
bring money and cleavage
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
