I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
