She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
