I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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